Well, obviously cooking has not been at the forefront of my mind lately. Not cooking for pleasure anyway. Put simply; divorce sucks. If ever I see any celebrities chirping happily about how they remain amicable whilst divorcing I shall laugh in a hollow, sardonic fashion to myself because I now know the sad truth that such a thing is impossible. It does lead to endless dull dinners because in a perverse parody of the multi-million make-up giant's exhortation you believe "you're worth it". Well I have decided that this blogging project, if read only by me shall serve as a distraction from real life, and a call to arms towards made me passionate in the first place: food.
So, today I have enlisted two sous chefs. My children. They shall help inspire me towards more interesting meals, which will be far more fun to read about, with the added bonus that they-too- shall be able to cook. To be honest I kind of have Jamie Oliver to thank. His 'Thirty Minute Meals' so tickled my son that he was inspired to give one a go. Just the pride and enthusiasm he had for the result made me realise just how much pleasure I had been, wilfully, denying myself by seeing the kitchen as a no-go zone. So I am back.
Food is so much more than fuel, it defines who we are, and how we feel about ourselves, and the reality is that when we feel bad about ourselves we neglect to treat ourselves with kindness or provide ourselves with pleasure. So I am going to begin a vigourous programme of making myself cook, and cook lovely things as well, and then enjoying them - hoping that this process will restore some much needed self esteem.
So I shall begin with the last lovely thing I cooked, because it was at a dinner with two girlfriends and I really had fun. Both the gals in question are vegetarians, and I remembered somewhere seeing a recipe for baked stuffed squash. The major problem with this is finding squash that are small enough to provide a meal for one person, but large enough to survive the hollowing, filling and baking process whilst still looking fairly robust. I won't lie, there will probably be too much food. But save it for another day, or puree it with some stock into a soup for lunch the morning after.
For each person ( 4) you will need one small squash or pumpkin. A bit larger than your fist, but no smaller.
To prepare them, wash thoroughly, then cut a lid from the top. Hollow out the innards and rinse out the pumpkin or squash. then place on a lightly oiled baking tray whilst you make the filling.
Then finely chop 1 onion and 2 cloves of garlic. Sweat in some oil or butter ( depending on your health or vegetarian desires) over a medium to low heat until soft and fragrant. Then add about 500g of finely chopped mushrooms. You can use plain old buttons, but obviously if you choose to use more exciting mushrooms it will only add to the end result. Let this mixture cook down until the mushrooms have released their moisture, then add a good glug of either brandy or white wine. Cook on a high heat so that it reduces to a mixture which coats the vegetables instead of drowning them, then add some cream. You don't need much really, I would say about 100- 150 mls. Season at this point and add 2 tablespoons of fresh thyme and the zest of one lemon. Reduce again. Check for seasoning-it will have to flavour the pumpkin or squash so be generous- before filling your hollowed pumpkins and placing their lids on. Put into an oven you have heated to about 175 degrees, and cook for at least 45 minutes, but even up to an hour and a quarter. Test the pumpkin or squash with the tip of a knife- they should feel soft. Serve with something to cut through the richness, a green or chicory salad with an acidic dressing perhaps. Best enjoyed with friends, and laughter, as indeed are all things.
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